Some people are naturally bubbly and confident, while others are more shy and never seem to think they’re good enough. Most shy people wish they were a little bit more confident, especially when socialising with people they don’t know very well. If you’re lacking confidence and it’s starting to get in the way of your social life, have a look at these useful tips.
The first step is to think positive. If you go out into the world believing that you’re not good enough and nobody wants to spend time with you, then you’ll come across as a person who is not confident at all. Remember that confident people are often the most attractive to others, and you’ll be much more fun to talk to if you believe that you’re worth speaking to.
Be prepared to take risks
Life gets more exciting if you’re not living in your comfort zone all the time. If you don’t usually feel comfortable going out and meeting new people you’ve never seen before, try it! Go with a friend and ask them to introduce you to some new people. Be confident, even if you’re acting it! See it as your little experiment – you might be pleasantly surprised.
Shy people with little confidence normally find it difficult to take compliments. Those are the people who respond with “Me? Oh, I don’t think so!” when told that they’re beautiful. If you want to appear confident and become a more confident person, learn to take compliments. If somebody tells you that your make-up looks nice, respond with a polite thank you. If your hair is complimented, take it and feel good about yourself.
Smile a lot and speak more
Nobody will ever think you’re a shy person if you speak a bit more and smile often at people. Introduce yourself to people first rather than waiting for them to make the first move. A simple “Hello, my name is So-and-so” means that they have to say something next, which will hopefully start a conversation that you can keep going.
Learn how to keep a conversation going
The next step is to make sure you know how to keep a conversation going. A sudden halt in a conversation can really knock your confidence, and you might start to panic trying to think of how to revive it. Sit down by yourself one day and make a list of things you could say to almost anybody to make conversation. If somebody mentions they have a daughter, ask how old she is, what kind of things she likes. Tell them about your daughter or son (if you have one) or mention another little person in your life, like a cousin or nephew.
If it doesn’t come naturally or easily to you, you should practice it. Tell a close friend you’re trying to become more confident, and ask them to pretend they are a person who you’ve never met before. Practice chatting a bit more to neighbours, people you meet in a queue or the cashier. Practice making small talk with other people. You’ll eventually get so good at it that you’ll wonder what you were so shy about!