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The worst thing I have ever done is....
Walking very drunkenly from East to West London. Needing a wee I decided to relieve myself down a dark lane. In midflow I felt a hand on my...(wait for it) ...shoulder. I turned round, still going, only to find it was a copper. Not only was I weeing in the doorway to the local nick, I was now urinating on a policeman’s shoes. oops
what I do for fun:
sitting in my mates parked car with sunglasses on pointing a hair dryer at passing cars. Seeing if they slow down.
When using cash machines, I start screaming "I Won! I Won! Third time this week!"
When leaving the zoo, I run towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!"
Staring at people through the points of a fork pretending they're in jail.
Playing loudly with a complete set of transformers and when people comment, tell them with a straight face, "There's more to them than meets the eye."
(kidding about the last one)
favourite things:
Indie (music and clothes) Festivals, Laughter, Sambuca! Intimacy, exploring, being creative and spontaneous, and not forgetting my gorgeous cat called "Chloe".
Turn-ons:
• Boldness / Assertiveness,
• Candlelight,
• Dancing,
• Erotica,
• Flirting,
• Long hair,
• Public displays of affection,
• Skinny dipping,
• Thrills,
• Thunderstorms
Just for those who want to delve further into my murky world of fun and frolics...
The other night a woman was invited out for a night with the girls. She promised her husband that she would be home by midnight. Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy. Just before 3 a.m., a bit loaded, she headed for home.
Just as she got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed three times. Quickly realizing her husband would probably wake up, she cuckooed another nine times. She was really proud of herself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution (even when totally smashed), in order to escape a possible conflict with him.
The next morning her husband asked her what time she got in and she told him "Midnight." He didn't seem angry at all. "Phew! Got away with that one!" She thought.
Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock."
When she asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said, "Oh ****," cuckooed four more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted!"
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